In this blog post, we’re going to talk about how you can let go of the past and live in the future. It’s time to worry less about things that are out of your control and start focusing on what matters most. We’ll cover 9 steps that will help you break down any decision-making process into manageable pieces so you can get rid of those negative thoughts. By the end, you should be feeling more confident in your ability to leave the past behind and how to make good choices for yourself!
Step One: Make a List of What You’re Worrying About
It’s time to stop worrying about the past and start focusing on what you can do in the future. The first step is always making lists so that we know which things are causing us stress, anxiety or frustration. Write down all of your worries as they come up and take note of the top stressors that you worry about daily.
Decide what decisions need to be made immediately (like banking money), what needs more time for consideration (career change or move), and then what actions should be taken for each of these lists – no matter how small or big they may seem. Make these three lists every morning before breakfast.
Step Two: List Out Costs and Benefits for You
This next step may take a little while because we need all our facts straight before jumping into anything else so be prepared to spend some time putting together your list of costs and benefits for potential actions you can take as they relate to your stressors.
Step Three: Make a Decision
Now that you have your lists, it’s time to decide what the best choices are for you. You may find that some of the decisions don’t even apply to your specific stressors because they’re not related or there is no way to make them work. So, cross those off and focus on the ones that will get you closer towards making peace with yourself. Remember, these decisions have to be made by YOU!
Step Four: Stop Worrying about What Other People Think About You
Make it your goal to stop worrying about what other people think and just live for yourself. You are worth more than that!
Eliminate the negativity of ruminating on what’s wrong with you or how other people think of you. The misjudgments of others is often based on their lack of knowledge or understanding of you and what you’ve been through. Or, it’s the result of their own feelings of inadequacy that they put onto you. Either way, their judgments are not yours, but theirs and you don’t have to take them on.
I love the quote, “It’s none of my business what you think about me.” Make this your motto. Regardless of what others think, you are responsible for your happiness, you have to live with the results of your actions, and only you know what is truly important to you.
Step Five: Build Inner Resilience
When it feels like you are drowning in your feelings and you can’t see anything else, take a deep breath-take another one. Inhale peace of mind with each inhale; exhale the stress, anxiety and worry that’s been weighing on your shoulders since yesterday, five years ago, or as far back as you can remember. Trust me when I say that this is the first step to turning around any situation.
Keep breathing, deep breaths bring peace of mind and peace of mind is what you need to find the answer. A great way to ensure you’re consistently breathing deeply is to inhale for a count of four, hold for a count of four, and exhale for a count of four.
Shift perspective to see what you have in your life now that is working well instead of feeling sorry for yourself. Focusing on gratitude helps build your inner resilience because it trains your brain to focus on the positive, instead of focusing on the negative-which won’t help you move forward in your life.
When you have negative thoughts or self doubt (as well do, from time to time) write down three things you like about yourself. Focusing on the positive rather than the negative will overtime change how you think about yourself and the negative thoughts and self doubt will all but vanish!
Focus instead on what is right with you, the strengths you have, trust that you can make the best decisions for yourself. Find the strengths in others around you, admire those strengths and again be true to yourself.
Step Six: Get Support From Others
This might sound overwhelming but don’t worry, everybody has a past and struggles to let the past go and live in the present moment.
There can never be too much support when we take big leaps in our lives but if at any point during these steps things feel overwhelming then reach out and ask someone else for help. The more people who understand what you’re going through, the better equipped they are to help you.
They say that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. It’s important that you surround yourself with people who support your growth and can support you in the present moment while also looking towards the future. If you have friends and family in your life who support you in this way, you are incredibly fortunate-lean on them.
If not, you can find communities of support on Facebook, Instagram and also working with a life coach. I have a wonderful free Women’s Facebook Community-The Women’s Inner Circle: Women Empowering Women, which may be a great place for you to start to build that community of support amongst like minded women. Click here to join this fabulous group of women who are also creating amazing changes in their lives and can support you.
Step Seven: Make Peace With Yourself
Now that you’ve gotten support from others and you are no longer focused on the past-but the future, continue to focus on yourself and the WHY behind the changes you’re making in your life. You’re not doing this for anyone else – you are making peace with your life because YOU deserve a happy future!
The only thing that stands in between where you are now and living the life of your dreams is what steps you’re going to take next. Wishful thinking will get you nowhere so if there’s one simple rule I can give then let it be this: DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT NOW!!
Step Eight: Turn Your Dreams Into Reality
Take everything in this post up until now and use these newfound insights as fuel to make the changes necessary in order to bring your goals to a reality.
Make a decision and feel good about it!!!
DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT NOW!!
Create SMART goals Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely to ensure that you have a way to monitor your progress in achieving your goals.
Step Nine: It’s Okay to Ask for Help
At some point we have all needed help from others and that time doesn’t make you any less of an amazing woman-it makes you more human.
When it feels like things are so big or complex that there’s no way out then reach out because someone will be willing and able to support you with love and understanding.
Look to the people around you who are already living the life you want. Perhaps it’s an ideal relationship? Or they’re financially stable? Maybe you admire how they show up in the world as their best selves. Start noticing what you want your life to look like through others in your life and find out how they achieved those things. Then try to emulate how they did it in a way that works for you.
If you need more one-on-one motivation, guidance and accountability. Reach out to me by booking a complimentary discovery call and we can schedule a chat to see if working with a life coach is the step you need to get you to that next place in your life. Click here to book your Discovery Call.
What Are You Waiting For? Your Dream Life Awaits!!!
These are the Nine Steps you can take to stop focusing on the past and start looking toward the future. A future you create for yourself based on what you truly want in life. Making choices, then following the choices with a plan and measurable action will show you results in a short amount of time. You will be astonished by how your life starts to make sense and things just fall into place!!!
AND even when your decisions don’t have the result you had hoped for, you will have learned a valuable life lesson that will continue to enable you to build a future that you’re excited about and a life you love! Start today!!!