So many of us want to be happier and have an idea of what our life would look like and feel like if we were happier.
We’d have more money, more time, more fun-less work, more travel, be thinner, more muscular, more connected in our relationships, the list goes on and on based on what each of us values.
Most people have some version of these goals. They make a plan for meeting their goals and are well on their way and then something happens. And before they know it, they have lost motivation and that goal starts to slip away.
Either another goal takes its place or the person is left feeling defeated, angry with themself for not meeting that goal, or like they just don’t have the (insert limiting belief here) that is used to excuse why that goal was impossible and they never should have taken it on!
We all do it, and we all know what it feels like.
Yet, there is that darn voice in our heads or a nagging feeling that there is more to life than this. That we deserve more in our lives! That we can take on goals that have great meaning and overcome them! Getting off of the hamster wheel of setting a goal, working really hard at it, and then not achieving it-yet again.
In fact, how is it that some people are extremely successful and happy in life and seem to accomplish all of their goals? While others struggle to achieve theirs?
The answer is simple: vision, clarity, consistency and time. All important elements in creating a life that is fulfilling and that we know deep in our hearts-that we absolutely deserve. Yet, even these steps can be challenging because it requires change and a very clear vision. Both of which are tricky because our minds thrive on keeping things the same and the least effort-the better!
Yet, doing what is comfortable to our trickster minds keeps us in a place where growth isn’t possible and we actually need growth to feel happy and fulfilled. Challenging ourselves and continuing to grow is the only way to keep our minds and body happy and healthy.
So, if you have a goal or goals that you are absolutely committed to achieving-you’re going to love this four part series on how to
- get very clear about what your goals are.
- stick with them when you lose motivation.
- overcome the obstacles (once and for all) that have kept you from moving forward
- create more time in your day for the things you love.
Step 1: A Clear Life Vision
The number one obstacle standing between you and your dreams is a lack of focus. It’s not your skills, the quality of information you have access to, or even the inspiration or know-how of how to achieve your goals.
As a society we are so used to constant stimulation which takes our attention from what we want and achieving it, to the next email that pops into our inbox. Or the next FB or Instagram post. Recent studies show that on average we spend 10 hours and 39 minutes in front of some type of screen-every day.
In a world where our computers are in our phones, we are conditioned to multi-task and jump from one project to another. To stay busy-all the time!
Yet, busy is different than productive. And being busy is getting in the way of you having the needed time and space to create a life you love.
Just the idea of taking 30 minutes to create a vision for your life may seem like an impossible task. How can you possibly spend 30 minutes detailing out your life and what you want from it? Especially when you 1001 things on your to do list and you haven’t even gotten to #1?
Yet, how can you not?
When you have a clear vision of what you want in life, you start to notice all of the things that you are doing that are getting in the way of you achieving your goals and working towards your vision. In fact if you look at your to do list, about 80% of those things are designed to keep you busy-so you feel productive. But are they getting you further towards the life you want to live? Or are they creating a life that you need to take a break from, because all of your energy is focused on tasks or things that really have little significance to what matters most to you?
A majority of people spend their time doing things and staying busy to avoid the things they actually need to do-the things that will help them grow and move to that next level in their lives. A level where there is greater happiness, connection and they feel truly fulfilled.
What are your greatest distractions? I know for me they are FB, just checking in to see how others are doing. Or email, which I used to check multiple times a day (first thing in the morning) so that I could stay on top of things and make sure I was getting back to people in a timely manner. Yet these are both major time wasters and in next week’s blog-I’ll give you strategies for how to keep a handle on both.
But first we need to have a vision-a vision for what you want your life to look like.
Right now-look at your calendar and book 30 minutes into your calendar for today to work on creating a vision for your life. That needs to be 30 uninterrupted minutes where your phone is in another room, your kids, friends, significant other, etc..know that you’re unavailable. 30 minutes where you can completely focus on you and nothing else!
“Without a vision for our lives, you and I will perish. We will perish in confusion, doubt, uncertainty, and the daily chaos of bills, taxes, titles, roles and more…We have to peel back the layers and get you to a place where you’re giving yourself permission to think bold and big,”(The 1% Rule, Baker, 2018).
Make sure you are in a comfortable and distraction free space to start working on your vision. Your vision is your destination and every day you will make decisions and take action to get you to your final goal. You will have an internal compass to let you know when you’re off track so you can recalibrate and get back on track.
We are going to start big-so give yourself permission to think BIG and BOLD-in fact you must think BIG and BOLD when planning your vision. BIG and BOLD goals actually are more attainable than you may think.
When you set realistic goals the results are mediocre. And in turn your efforts are mediocre as well. It’s not exciting to try to reach a goal that is within reach, so you don’t try that hard. BIG and BOLD on the other hand, well that’s exciting!!! And you know you’re going to have to work extra hard to meet that goal. So today in planning your vision, you’re going to focus on BIG and BOLD goals.
As you’re setting your goals your mind may start to resist. This resistance is normal and is there to show you that you’re stretching yourself which is what you need to do to level up and meet your goals.
“Resistance is the fear-driven, comfort-zone loving version of yourself that identifies with the current you. Change those circumstances, create a new reality, and it freaks out, bringing you back down…Resistances is responsible for killing countless dreams and passions,” (The 1% Rule, Baker, 2018).
When resistance shows up-acknowledge it’s there, thank it for the gift of clarity it’s providing you-then double down and push through. This takes practice. And you must continue to do it every single day. As you continue to do it, it gets easier and you start achieving your goals. I didn’t say it would be easy. But it’s so incredibly worth it! YOU ARE WORTH IT!
Okay, so now you’re prepared for resistance when it shows up. And if your goal is BIG and BOLD enough it will show up.
Your BIG and BOLD Vision for Your Life
Congratulations for getting this far! You are about to start the amazing process of redesigning your life. This is challenging work-but absolutely amazing once you get started. Your life is worth it and your dreams are worth it. You are here not by chance, but because you have true gifts inside you that you are meant to give to the world, to your family, friends and others you may never meet. But, in order to do that-you must first believe in yourself.
Before you create your vision, take a few moments just to relax. Release the stressors from the day, the week, the month and the year. The stressors you have held your entire life, you need to let go of. The moments of doubt and the roles you play. Let go of the fear of the future and any current struggles you’re in now. These are all old stressors that are going to change, shift, and possibly even fade out as you continue to work on your vision, moving forward. They are your past and you’ll need to let go if it all right now so that you can move forward with clarity and not stay stuck in the past.
As resistance comes up, thank it for the gift it is, and continue to release the stressors. It may help to take a quick trip down memory lane remembering the wonderful times while releasing moments of despair, sadness, anger, and disappointment for what they were. Your memories are always going to be there, they are in the past.
This is your future and you no longer need to hold on to the feelings that have weighed you down for so long. They aren’t part of your vision and won’t help you move forward.
Okay, on to your vision. It needs to be BIG and BOLD. That means it should make you uncomfortable, otherwise it’s too comfortable and not aligned with your dream life. For now just think about the What of your vision, not the how. Also consider the why of your vision. The WHY behind your vision is essential and must be bigger than just you, otherwise it will be very difficult to work towards your goals in a sustained and focused way. We often tend to follow through on things when others benefit more from them, than we do. That’s why the WHY has to be much bigger than you.
It can be very difficult to create a life vision out of thin air. And having tried many different models for visioning, I have found I really like Timothy Ferris’s Dreamlining planning sheet from the book The Four Hour Workweek. He focuses on three steps-Having, Being, Doing and the sheet is user friendly and straight to the point.
In 6 Months I Dream of…(You can change the timeline to whatever works best for you).
Step 1 Having:
Step 2 Being:
Step 3: Doing
In 90 Days I Dream of
Step 1 Having: Cost:
1. 2 published articles * $0
2. 10 Coaching Clients/20 in Course * Advertising-$400 a month
Step 2 Being: Doing:
1. Present- Meditate Daily (AM/PM)
2. Strong & Healthy * Walk Daily & HIIT Workouts 3x a Week
3. Writer Write Daily-Minimum of 1,000 words
Step 3: Doing Cost:
1. Take a Trip in RV Rent RV for 1 Week Trip to Coast ($2k)
2. Pay 1/2 Debt
Target Monthly Income: A+B+C+ (1.3x monthly expenses)
TMI: $2400+($3000)=$5400/30 (days in a month)
Total Daily Income: $180-That’s the total amount per day that I need to make sure I’m earning to work towards my 90 day goals. I can do that.
Putting My 90 Day Plan Into Action
Steps Now: Things I Can Do Today
- Adjust advertising plan based on feedback from others in the field that I received yesterday
- Rent an RV for 1 week to see how we like it and travel to the coast this summer (already did this research yesterday)
- Write Blog
- 1st HIIT workout & Walk
- IRB Paperwork for 2nd article
- Assign 1 to 2 hour tasks to top 3 priorities this week
- Organic Marketing
- Start writing 2nd article
- Continue to refine The Best Life Blueprint Course
- Check on Ad performance and refine as needed
Now You Have a Vision
Congratulations, you now have a vision that is BIG and BOLD and a plan for how you’re going to start working on it. A couple of tips to get you started.
- Right now schedule time in your calendar for when you are going to do your Steps Now and Steps Tomorrow. Put the time for each in your calendar and keep your appointments! For example in looking at my calendar for today, I have put walk at 9:30 am as that is when I’ll be done with this blog. In planning for tomorrow-my IRB paperwork is scheduled for 5:30 am and my 1st HIIT workout will be at 6:30 am. They’re both in my calendar for tomorrow. They’re also the first things I’m going to do tomorrow, because they’re the biggest things that will help me move towards my 90 day goals. They are also the things I least want to do.
- Schedule the 2 two biggest things that will help you get towards your goal for the next day within one hour of waking up. These are usually the things you least want to do. In scheduling them within one hour of waking up, it will keep you from doing other tasks to put off doing what you should be doing-the things that scare and challenge you the most. These are also the things that will help you reach your goals and the vision you created. When you get these two things done first in your day-the other things come easily. And you may find yourself not spending time doing things to keep yourself busy to avoid doing these two things. Instead you may find you have extra time to do things you really enjoy.
- Schedule your day, the afternoon before. Make sure that your to do list has 3-5 things at the most and that you have 2 big things you need to do to help you get to your goal. Schedule these two things the afternoon before, not the morning of because in the morning you probably won’t feel as motivated to do them or you may have had other things come up that you put on your calendar-leaving you no time to get these two essential things done. No matter what, stick to the schedule you have set for yourself and get these 2 things done-first thing.
- When you’re doing these things, make sure you are free of distractions. Set a timer for 25 minutes and focus on one for that whole time. 25 minutes on each with a five minute break in between. Do not check email or social media until AFTER you have done these two things. If they take more than 25 minutes to do each, schedule another 25 minute block later in the day to work on each or schedule them first thing in the morning again for the next day.
- If you don’t have the time in the morning to do these two things, make the time! Change your routines, wake up earlier, do whatever you need to do to give yourself this one hour each and every day to create a life you love and truly deserve.
Remember, this is challenging but can be fun at the same time! The rewards you get from doing this initial work up front will more than pay off within a couple of days when you see how productive you can be and how your life is starting to change in ways that you couldn’t have imagined only a few days before! You can do this!
I’m so excited to return next week with Part 2 of this series when we look more at clarity and consistency!
Work with Me
If you would like additional support on how to work through your emotions and practice thought work-now is the perfect opportunity! I’ve just opened up my calendar for new one-on-one coaching clients, but for a short time. I only work with a limited number of clients at a time so that I can fully devote my time and attention to each client and can help you get unstuck, overcome obstacles and create a life you truly love. For more information, you can book a Discovery Call with me by clicking here.
The Best Life Blueprint 6 Week Course
This 6 week course is truly special in that you identify what you truly want in life, then move from there to create a simple and doable plan for how to create that life. Starting your very first day in the course. You can work at your own pace taking as long as you need to complete it.
Another incredible piece this course offers is…you receive regular one on one coaching with me for 6 weeks (as you work on each week’s module). Most self-paced programs like this-you complete on your own, without access directly to the course creator or coach. In this course, I provide you that extra level of support each and every week-so that you continue to make steady progress.
For a limited time, I am offering this course for 40% off it’s regular price. The first five women who register for the course will receive this discount.
For more information on the 6 week self paced courseThe Best Life Blueprint: 5 Simple Ways to Create Your Dream Life click here to schedule a consultation call with me. During the call, you will create yourBest Life Blueprint I can answer any questions you have about the course. If you decide it’s not the right time for you to take the course, you will still have you Best Life Blueprint that you can take and start using immediately to make changes in your life.
Join Other Women in Community
Finally, there is an exclusive women only Facebook community that you can join now. Some of the women in the community are in the course. Others are committed to creating their best lives and surrounding themselves with women committed to doing the same while not taking part in the course.
This is a free community where you have the support of women-just like you- going through life transitions and wanting to create their best lives. It’s a wonderful place to go to for inspiration, advice, and to connect with like minded women. Click on the link to join The Women’s Inner Circle.