Welcome Spring! It’s so nice to start a new season with a renewed sense of hope. We have all come so far, since this time last year.
If there’s one major lesson I’ve learned from this year, it’s that life is completely unpredictable. There is simply no way to control what is going to happen, much less anticipate what to do-when life happens.
An example of this for me, is that I’m writing you this newsletter while sitting on a deck, staring out at the beautiful blue ocean, in Hawaii. Enjoying my family-moon with my husband and kids.
A few years ago, this was definitely not the way I had seen my life going, in fact I didn’t even know this was a possibility for me.
After my divorce, I thought I’d never get married again. It was only through my work with a relationship coach in a group coaching program, that I was able to visualize the kind of life I wanted and that ultimately I felt I deserved. I saw that having a fulfilling relationship was possible and the possibility of marrying again was something I was open to.
Shortly after my husband proposed.
This year, postponing my summer wedding because of the pandemic, only to have a smaller more intimate ceremony at our home in the fall, was again, something that I couldn’t have imagined.
Honeymooning with my kids, on a tropical island during a global pandemic, there’s just no way to plan for that! But all of these amazing events have happened, within this one short year.
In fact, we have all had wins and losses in our lives this year, some greater than others. Every one of us have had different experiences, but we have all been impacted by the pandemic, over the past 12 months.
The pandemic has been a time where we have felt the need to take inventory of our lives, to some extent. Some of us have decided to reset and restart in areas where we weren’t fulfilled or happy. While others weren’t sure where or how to get started and currently feel stuck in that place of unknowing.
While none of us can be certain where we’re headed or what our new normal will be in this season ahead, there is hope. There is forward movement and we are all lucky to be here to think about what we want our futures to look life and then to commit to making that future a reality.
An important lesson I’ve learned this year and the many years leading up to it, is that no matter what happens-I need to be responsible for how I show up daily in my life; how I interact with those around me; and also how I handle situations big and small. The interesting and exciting thing about this is that I do have the ability to do these things, and so do you. The only person responsible for your life, is you.
The life you have today is a result of the decisions you have made over time. If you’re not currently happy with something in your life, you can change it. Today, simply start making a different decision than you have been making. This simple step no matter how small, will create change and forward motion towards change.
Do things happen that are unfair, unjust and just plain suck? Absolutely! But, you get to choose how you respond to situations and how they affect your life. And that is what creates a life where you are fulfilled and happy, living in your truth and continuing to create a future that you want.
It’s All in Your Thoughts
I remember when I started working with my life coach a couple of years ago, through her group coaching program. She said that she could walk into any situation and be fully confident that whatever happens, she could handle it. She could regulate her emotions and not feel like they would get the best of her. I remember thinking at the time, “WOW, how amazing is that? I want to learn that!”
After all, how many situations do we avoid or put off because of how they will make us feel? Or, the fear of how we will react when in a given situation? An important conversation with your significant other, making an important career decision, finally putting self care first. All of these are situations that can create emotions in us that may seem unbearable and keep us from taking action.
The next time you have a feeling that feels off for you, consider the thought you had prior to that feeling. It’s important that you are centered and present enough so that can identify the thought in the moment and how it makes you feel. Then decide if you like that feeling. If it feels good, great-keep thinking it.
If you don’t feel good when thinking that thought, go back and question that thought. How did it make you feel? Why? Do you know that thought to be the truth? If so, how? Is there another way to think about this situation that feels good to you?
As you work on your mindset, you will find that you have developed thoughts over time that served you at one time. These thoughts have developed into habits that keep you from having to exert too much energy and often you have them on autopilot. This is great when these thoughts still work for you and bring you happiness, peace and calm.
The problem is when the thoughts you have no longer serve you or are simply untrue. These are limiting thoughts. You’ll know you’re having one when your emotions feel off. It’s when you have one of these outdated or limiting thoughts you need to re-evaluate what the thought is doing for you.
So often what we assume to be true (thoughts), aren’t true. Our truths are simply our thoughts that we have continued to think over time and stopped questioning because they fit into our version of how things work. Yet, at a certain point when you think these thoughts, you realize they create feelings that don’t feel comfortable or right to you anymore.
Once you realize that you can change those thought patterns, your life can truly change.
It’s such exciting work and you see results immediately.
When I learned how to identify and change my mindset through thought work, the result was calm, peace, and a trust in myself like I never had before. Because I know that no matter what happens in my life, I can approach it in a way that is aligned with my values which are aligned with how I want to live my life.
Having a greater understanding of your mindset and how your thoughts control your emotions is an absolute gift. It’s quite simple, but like anything takes practice, patience, and time. But, the results are amazing.
The Best Time to Start-Is Now
Spring is a time of rebirth, renewal, and growth. And during this season I hope you will move forward with a deeper understanding of who you are, what you want from your life, and the mindset and determination to make it happen, starting today.
Please try questioning your thoughts to see how identifying them and how they influence your emotions, can shift things for you. Giving you more control over how you approach your day-to-day life.
If you’d like more guidance on this, I created a YouTube video that explains thought work using a physical written model. This model was incredibly helpful to me as I learned thought work and I still use the model frequently when I encounter challenges in my life.
If you’d really like to dive into thought work and changing your mindset in a way where you see quick results, I am starting an amazing 6 week self paced course in April. The course is titled “5 Simple Steps to Create Your Best Life.”
In this self paced course you will learn how to change your mindset through thought work and create changes in your life-immediately.
This course includes a private FB group of others who also want to create fulfilling and dynamic lives and are going through the same course with you. The private FB group provides a platform where you can interact with and support one another through this wonderful journey in confidence that what you share is private.
The simple steps of creating your best life are simple, but their ongoing implementation are developed through learning and extended practice. The support of a community going through the same kind of development, speeds up your growth, progress and results.
This group will also have one live group coaching session with me weekly. Here you will receive the benefits of one-on-one coaching with your community of support right there, cheering you on.
It’s important to me to keep the group small and intimate, so space is limited. It’s a wonderful value and amazing support group if one-on-one coaching is not the commitment you’re lookin for right now. For more information on signing up for this 6 week course-click here.
Have a wonderful week and please give thought work a try. You’ll be amazed by the results.